Beginning Of The End
by KarkatWillNotMarryYou
Summary: It was when they started on Rufioh that really got to you. [[familystuck au, pale Horuss/Porrim being the main pairing. Contains cheating in quadrants, hemophobic slurs, swear words and Equius.]]
1. i used to break mirrors

When they started on Rufioh you stood up and left.

Or rather, you stood up, told your father casteism is severely fucking outdated, you don't care, you _love _him, and then you left. You're probably going to get in trouble for the language, but you don't care. You're nine sweeps old. What's he going to do? Spank you and put you in the corner?

(Your father had never laid a hand on you or Equius, because A he was more of a pacifist and B he would paralyse you from the waist down, but dammit you're _angry _and you're trying to prove a point)

You're angry, you're trying to prove a point, and while you're trying very hard not to sound like and drag on like a certain Kankri Abalone Vantas, the slurs are too much. You can get a little castist sometimes, maybe you complain about lowbloods sometimes, but...Rufioh is exempt. He's not even _on _the bloody sepctrum as far as you're concerned, and the names they were calling him were poisonous, they're far, far too awful and damaging and everything else for someone as wonderful as Rufioh and you don't care how loud you have to shout that.

This would usually be the time you went to your moirail, but A her method of comforting is drawing porn of you and your friends which won't make you feel better as of now, B she's probably out pailing Kurloz and C _dammit Horuss stop alphabetically organising things_

So you...well. You do something you really, really shouldn't. You're both taken in that quadrant. You're awful. You're tearing apart two healthy pale relationships and leaving those who rely on them in the dust.

You can't bring yourself to care about that either.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

When you knock on the door the younger Maryam opens it, glares at you like you just stabbed her mother. You have no intention of doing that. Rosa is a fine woman who's cookies are delicious.

"Porrim's upstairs." She says. "If you're going to sleep with her I might have to warn you that countless others have already tried."

You smile and assure her your intentions are far more noble.

Porrim is upstairs, she's painting her toenails. It smells awful, but you don't think it would be polite to point that out. You just smile and wave awkwardly.

She puts the bottle down."What did they do this time."

"Rufioh."

"I highly doubt they did Rufioh. That's your job." She says it in a very maternal tone as she positions your head on her lap.

"...Porrim." Your face flushes and you can't help but laugh. "You...can't say that! That's awful!"

"Sh. I'm trying to make you feel better with my unfailing wit. Sit still and be papped goddamit."

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

So of course like always she does make you feel better, and you sit and talk and she gives you some more sex advice because you're probably more likely to score with Meenah than to get it from your father (you have no intention of enacting coitus with Meenah, for a number of reasons, it was a figure of speech) like she always does, because as you know Porrim has a bucketload of experience, and you're pretty sure you and Kankri are the only ones she hasn't slept with. The thought of not being Rufioh's first is...well. You already knew you weren't. There was of course Damara. But...it...might have been nice. On another planet where that was actually possible.

You tell Porrim about Kanaya, and she tells you that her sister is simply in a bad mood because her little human matesprit hasn't returned her most recent telecommunicated message yet. Apparently she'll be fine.

You tell her about your brother and she tells you that he'll grow out of it and _word on the street_ is that he has fallen for Damara's younger sister. The one that likes dead things.

You tell her Meulin is not a reliable source for relationship gossip and of course she fucking _knows that_ you _nerd._

You laugh.

And then Kankri comes in like he _doesn't usually do welp_

"Porrim." he says, and he looks really torn up about something. "Porrim, I...oh. Hello Horuss."

You nod and wave and abscond as quickly as you can.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

And when Meulin asks why you haven't been seeing her as often you shrug.

"It's...nothing personal, I assure you." You mumble. "I have...a lot going on."

"I can see that." She looks concerned as she draws a picture of Mituna and Tavros. "You're not even making horse puns anymore."

You tell her you're fine, you will be fine, and you leave out the part where your father is a douche because you're not that angry with him anymore. Your anger is not something that stays with you. It drains. You'll be fine. You're always fine.

You tell her that too.

So she says, as she draws Meenah and Aranea and a giant heart, that she's worried about you and she wants to make you feel better. And you promise her, you assure her, she does everything she possibly could.

She responds by pouncing on you and licking your face. She loves that.

She loves you in a very pale way and you just don't deserve her.

(You wonder if Kankri's found out about Porrim yet. You hope not. But he is pretty smart. These are the things that worry you.)

(But then again everything will be fine because it always is if you're one of those people who just sit at the side and do nothing)


	2. just because i'm sorry

When you get home it's late. You just wandered around aimlessly for a while. You would have gone to see Rufioh but you know for a fact he was doing something with Tavros that day, ie, he was busy.

So you just wander around and look at trees and ponds and other lovely things and then you go home. You don't want to but you don't see what else you can do.

When you get in, you just go straight up to your room. You don't want to talk to anyone today and you have a feeling you're going to feel like that for a while. Of course, more tension with your family is just what you need. Even if you're not angry any more, you know that both your father and brother are very resistant to forgetting wrongdoings. You suppose it's a family trait.

"Horuss."

"Equius." You don't even turn around.

"...You should apologise."

"I don't see why."

Equius makes some kind of displeased clicking sound with his tongue. "Because of your use of lude, disrespectful language. Not to mention your whole attitude in general."

You do turn around this time. Wow, you're pissed. "I had every right to object. He is my _matesprit._"

"We said nothing wrong."

"You were being-"

"Nothing that wasn't _truthful._"

You don't even bother with that. You just shoot him a glare that's probably lost behind your goggles and storm back to your room.

"You're better than him!" He shouts at your back. You ignore him.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

So the next day you spend loitering around in your bedroom because you're not sure what else to do. In the end you just go down to your mini lab and start building some sort of robot out of sheer frustration. Before long, though, you hear your telecommunication device make a noise.

-gadareneAxiom began trolling centaurionTechnologic at 13:45-

GA: Ho+russ.  
CT: 8=D Oh, hello Porrim.  
GA: Do+ yo+u wish to+ be entertained?  
CT: 8=D Fire away.  
GA: Kankri has himself a matesprit.  
CT:...

...what.

CT: 8=D ...what.  
GA: Can yo+u no+t read?  
CT: 8=D I read perfectly well, thank you.  
CT: 8=D I suppose I didn't see it coming.  
GA: I do+n't think anyo+ne did.  
GA: By the way, ho+w is the...situatio+n go+ing?  
CT: 8=D As well as expected.  
CT: 8=D My mane concern is that they might stop me from seeing him.  
CT: 8=D I do hope it doesn't come to that, but I am sure they would resnort to such means if they considered it neighcessary.  
GA:...  
GA: Tho+se puns are frightful.  
CT: 8=D Quiet, you.  
CT: 8=D They are part of my soul.  
GA: Yessir.  
GA: Insert suitably sarcastic salute.  
GA: #alliteratio+n #go+tta lo+ve it  
CT: 8=D A reasonable level of laughter goes here.  
GA: Oh dear. My mo+ther is baking. It appears I have to+ depart.  
GA: When yo+u lie awake at night, remember Kankri and Cro+nus may well have do+ne the frick.  
GA: To+ use the latter's termino+lo+gy.

-gadareneAxiom began trolling centaurionTechnologic at 13:45-

...On the other hand, you're not all that suprised. It was bound to happen.

Porrim's right when she said you would think it over. You do. A lot.

You sort of wish you still had that thrill in your quadrants yourself.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Horuss."

"Meulin."

"Appurrently Kankri was talking to Porrim yesterday."

"...proceed?"

"You two were having some sort of feelings jam."

You freeze.

"...Um. No." You're terrible at lying. It's one of the unique and awful things about you. "We...really weren't."

She narrows her eyes. "That's what he said."

"Well...he was lying. Why would I? I have a meowrail."

She gives you a smile, and smooches your cheek. "Pail fur you."

You say you reciprocate but you don't mean it.


	3. you shine so bright it's insane

Your name is Kankri Vantas and you are kissing.

To be precise, you are kissing Cronus Ampora. And he's liking it, so you're obviously doing somewhat good.

He pulls you down, next to him on the bed, kisses you harder, and you kiss back. He fumbles with your pants under your sweater, and you breathe in. Your breath hitches, you spread your legs a little more. "Do you..." you gasp, against his lips. "Do you know what you're doing?"

"Of course, darl." He drawls, moves his head down, starts kissing your neck, and...yeah, okay, your vow is out the fucking window. It's so out of the window it's probably going to knock some unsespecting bird out of the air and then you'll be arrested for animal cruelty.

Mind you, you're already handcuffed. (This was a recent development. Cronus appears to have a magic box his family don't know about.)

He bites down on your neck, making you very very glad you wear a turtleneck most days (oh _shit_ you have swimming on Sundays you're _screwed_)) and you close your eyes and allow you to succumb to the sensations.

-gadareneAxiom began trolling cancrineGarrulousity at 11:25-  
GA: Kannie.  
CG: P9rrim.  
GA: Kannie.  
CG: P9rrim.  
GA: Kannie.  
CG: P9rrim.  
GA: Kankri, this is getting silly. I simply wanted to+ check up o+n ho+w yo+u were.  
CG: I am just fine, thank y9u.  
GA: I kno+w abo+ut Cro+nus.  
CG: I kn9w y9u kn9w. I did tell y9u.  
GA: I meant the pailing.  
CG: ...

You really don't see how.

CG: I really d9n't see h9w.  
CG: I MEAN.  
GA: So+ yo+u're co+nfirming it?  
CG: I meant, if I _did_, which I _didn't_, I d9n't see h9w y9u c9uld kn9w.  
CG: I C9NFIRM N9THING.  
GA: Riiiiight.  
GA: Cro+nus to+ld me actually.  
CG:...cr9nus?  
GA: Well. Indirectly.  
GA: I'm so+rry, darling. Yo+u needed to+ kno+w.  
CG:

You leave it blank and bury your face in your hands. Eventually you compose yourself and type up a reply.

CG: Alright. I'll talk t9 him.  
GA: O+kay. Kannie, I really am so+rry.  
CG: Thank y9u f9r telling me.

You pause.

CG: I kn9w ab9ut y9u and H9rus|

You sigh, and backspace it. You really don't want to stir up any drama right now. Not to her face, anyway.

Kankri: == Stop being Kankri and be Horuss instead.

You are now Horuss.

In fact, you were Horuss before you were Kankri. About half an hour, actually. Confused yet?

You're currently laying on your bed definitely not sulking when you hear your telecommunication device beep again.

-chivalrousAmoroso began trolling centaurionTechnologic at 10:55-

CA: hey baby.  
CA: last night was fun, vwasn't it?  
CA: you're such a bad boy for me 3  
CT: 8=D ...  
CT: 8=D ...Cronus, I'm sorry. Was this meant for someone else?  
CT: 8=D I am with Rufioh, after all.

-chivalrousAmoroso ceased trolling centaurionTechnologic at 11:01-

...Well. Okay, then.

-chivalrousAmoroso began trolling centaurionTechnologic at 11:05-

CA: oh my fuckin god zahhak  
CA: aaah i am so sorry  
CA: that obvwiously vwasn't meant for you  
CA: in face you hadn't figured it out  
CT: 8=D It's quite alright. You must have just clicked on the wrong person.  
CT: 8=D: You're in a matespritship with Kankri, are you not? Our names are right next to each other's, after all.  
CT: 8=D I assume last night went well for you?  
CA: you feceious little shit.  
CA: yeah, it did. and yes we are. but i'd rather not speak of this again.  
CA: evwer.

-chivalrousAmoroso ceased trolling centaurionTechnologic at 11:10-

You chuckle to yourself. You would have thought that surely Cronus would have checked before he sent it. Ah well.

This is obviously a thing you need to tell Porrim, at any rate. You're sure that she would appreciate the information.

You tap out a small message before you can change your mind.

"Meulin."

"Oh, Kankitty! Hello! Did you come to claw some ships?"

"I came to talk about our moirails, actually."

"Oh." She looks down sadly. "Mine hasn't been around lately."

"That's what I'm referring to. Meulin...I think our moirails may possibly be in a pale quadrant themselves."

"So...cheating on us?"

You (the you that is Kankri, that is) shut up for a second to think on this. It's a...very damning way to put it.

But you feel like being damning.

"Exactly."


End file.
